Dear Coke,
I know all about you. My husband confessed to me last night. I have had suspicions about you for a long time now. Sometimes, at night, I hear Dan sneaking down the hallway to meet you. I thought it was insomnia. In my own house no less. Coke, you are a bold one.
I understand that you offer him things I may not. You are undeniably sweet, with a perfect carmel color that my Irish heritage will not allow. You are curved, in all the right places, perfect fit for his hands. You are bubbly. Sometimes annoyingly so. Please stop tempting my husband into sin.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Carter
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